Childhood Trauma – Personal Experience in Schools

Explaining childhood trauma to school professionals can be very difficult. Many times, they listen but do not believe. They may sympathize but never empathize with the child. If it is related to a traumatic event from a child, they only deal with negative behavior. Schools need to start listening to parents. Here are some statements that teachers’ parents, the apple don’t fall from the tree. The parents are crazier than the child, or do you know who his/her parents are? We need to change that paradigm. We need to find a way to work with parents and professionals for the success of children.

Our son which is internationally adopted and had several traumatic experiences. He lived in an orphanage and had many operations and was alone. Here in the States, he had professionals call him nasty and dumb. So, at the beginning of every school year, I set up a meeting with his teachers and administrators. I explain what he experienced to all the professionals that will be educating him for the year. I will tell his story. I will explain what he experienced as best as we know. And every year I get the same response “Oh my goodness how sad. And every year, especially the administrators forget he experienced trauma. Then he reacts to an event like someone teasing him or being yelled at by a teacher and has a negative reaction. I have had a school psychologist tell me she knows more about my son than I do. When she told me this, I asked these questions, are you an expert in adoption? Did you take any classes on adoption? Have you received any training about adoption or international adoption? Every time the answers are no. My reaction is always the same. I will explain what he experienced and how it was traumatic for him and how we all need to work together.

Well, the sign was clear when he was having a difficult day after a difficult day. He couldn’t sleep and had day and night bathroom accidents and said he didn’t want to go to school. Finally, one day when I walked him to school. He walked to the door and then turned right around and came back and said he didn’t want to go to school. I tried again to tell the school all that he went through and how it affected him. The school only saw negative behavior, and everyone saw him in a negative manner. So, we decided to homeschool him for the rest of the school year. Now I am building his confidence and self-esteem. He even said the other day that he wanted to challenge himself and read something that was two grades above. He now doesn’t have any bathroom accidents and very few meltdowns. I have found that schools have a hard time understanding trauma and how to help children. So, parents keep telling their child’s stories and what is best for them.