As a parent, administrator, and teacher, I have many experiences that have shown that as educators, we really don’t appreciate the parents’ view of their child’s behavior. I think it is genuinely shown that we do not trust our parents. This was especially shown to me when I was on the other side, a parent for my children at school.
As a parent, I was told by a school psychologist that I did not understand my child. How does that statement build bridges? My son was having issues related to his being internationally adopted. I asked the school psychologist if she had any experience with international adoption, and the answer was no. Then I asked if she had any experience with night terrors, which my son had, and her answer was again no. So, her statement came across as if she knew more about my son but had no background in any of his experiences. My experience shows that many times, as educators, we assume things that are not accurate.
As educators, I think we can get frustrated with parents for many reasons. My younger child was starting a new school, and he has a birth defect that affects him when going to the bathroom. I told everyone his situation before the first day of school, including the teacher. That is when he needs to go to the bathroom; he cannot wait. The school said they will put a classroom close to a bathroom. I also had our pediatrician write about his situation. Everyone told me that we were all on the same page. But on the first day of school, I got a phone call from the guidance counselor and the teacher that he had left the class to go to the bathroom. I was flabbergasted. I said to the teacher, “Do you remember what we spoke about?” The teacher said nothing; only the guidance counselor said that it was unsafe for him to leave the classroom. They never acknowledge that I told them about his situation. The school did not believe that he had a problem; they thought he was just faking it. Why are we not listening to what parents tell us about their children?
As educators and parents, we need to understand and work together for the benefit of the child. If we are against each other, it does not help the child be successful.
Here are some quick ideas we can use to get to know our parents/families.
- Send a “Get to Know Families Survey.” We do that with students, now with our families.
- Try to set a time to talk with each of your parents/families. This is for both teachers and administrators.
- Send a weekly/ monthly newsletter to both classrooms and the school.
- Send personal positive emails to the parents/families about what wonderful things their child did. This is for both teachers and administrators.
- Make positive phone calls at least once a week to parents/ families for both teachers and administrators.
